Once again it is that time where I do this and take a look back on all the things I have either accomplished or have experienced.

I'll start off with what will be happening in my life... I graduate today and I move on from highschool to Berklee College of music. I'll take the 3,000 mile flight and 6 hours of travel in August to Boston from LA and move into my new residence at the school. I don't know what my future holds for me and to say the least I'm EXTREMELY stressed about it. I am the only kid at my school going to a notable music college, and somehow I feel like I have little to nothing in common with anyone moving out east with me (which is like 10 other kids...).

Why am I so stressed? I'll be 3,000 miles away. I'll have to make new friends and leave the old ones behind (though many of them are moving away too). The memories I created in high school and the past years will just be memories and no longer things to talk about with my friends. I'll meet new people and hopefully won't forget the old friends I've had (thanks to facebook and the likes). After the 4 or 5 years I spend in college I'll have to make my way in the business of composing and hope to god I don't run dry on ideas. All in all I think it is for the best. Thousands of miles away from my parents but only a few hundred from relatives that are a train ride away. I'll be on my own with my own rules and I can be myself to the fullest extent.

None the less I'll get on to what I've done to get to this point....
I started like everyone else on this site, a no name with little to show for. I made pretty bad music and still do (sometimes). I'm my own worst critic I hear every flaw. I've worked my ass off, none of this was easy. I've put hundreds, possibly thousands of hours of work into music and I have yet to profit greatly from it. Why should I continue if I have yet to make anything over the 4 years of high school from it? Simply put I love music... I can't go on living without being able to express and play the music I like. My first submission was a pretty bad piano piece but that is what I liked to do at the time and what I was best at.

I love to improvise. It is my greatest talent and it will take me places. I have a unique style (imo) to which I have not fully heard replicated in a song. I would and still improvise more then I practice sheet music. Everyday I would sit down at the piano and think of a new progression, melody, and chord that I could incorporate into my music. Each time I found something new a whole new line of melodies would open up and my style would grow. It is nearly impossible for me to explain how improvising works and how it makes me feel. To put it in the simplest of terms it is all about feeling what comes next and how you feel at the time. So when I'm sad I will make a song that is sad and the timing of the notes and progression may change drastically from what a song played when I'm happy or angry would.

If you are to google my name Mrmilkcarton you get about 13,700 results, most of which are me. Some are random people who have stolen my name but a good portion of the results are me and where my music has spread. Google even corrects you if you misspell mrmilkcarton either by adding a space or period where there isn't one. Googling yourself really expresses how far you've gone and how many people have listened to your music. Be it the same website in 10 different languages it is still a decent way to get the word out.

Don't get me wrong, none of this was easy. I don't want to say my stick is bigger then yours or I'm better then anyone else but, in order to get here you have to put some amount of effort into it. Getting payed for the music of Weapon was a starting point into the career of "I can really do this". Don't be afraid to send me a PM asking for some music, just be aware that I do look at past work and style to see if it is worth the time and reward. My current project Neenja is an amazing series that I have been graced with to create music for. I am/was so happy for the chance to finally create music for a full blown animation and have thousands hear the added effect of music in cinema.

Nothing in my life is perfect though. To be honest very few things happen the way I want them to. Something can go drastically wrong or take a huge U-turn that I can get caught off guard by. The past two months of May and June are a prime of example of everything being amazing and terrible at the same time.

In May: My grandfather died. He was the only grandfather I knew and apparently I did not know him as well as I would of liked to. His mind had already dissipated from alzheimer's and he no longer was the grandfather I knew. Thankfully his suffering ended and he moved on to a better place. During this time after something could go so wrong something went oh so right. I was still meeting new people even though school was coming to a close and I knew I would be moving away. To say the least I met someone amazing and made new friends. Happiness is fleeting though. Things have a way of going wrong in my life and they did. I won't dwell on it though, things happen and we learn from them. I will hold on to the emotion and memories as a reminder and as a tool for music. Because if you want to make music for a sad piece you have to truly understand and be sad to make something heart wrenching.

A few weeks after my grandfathers death we flew out and went to this memorial. I'm terrible with words, and after the memorial I feel like I barely knew my grandfather. He was a musician... I never knew to what extent though. He played the trumpet and was a very technical player. I never had the chance to talk to him about any of that... I never knew I had things in common with my grandfather and I regret every day that I had not known this. I played a song at his memorial for him. It was the only thing I could do... Words never come out of my mouth right but music always comes out the way I want it to.

So rest in peace grandpa, I will not disappoint you. To my new friends and old friends, thank you for the memories... All the sad and good memories I have will be a tool for my success and even if you forget me I will never forget you.

My story doesn't end though. To put life in musical terms we are just audio tracks with the record button still going. We can listen to the past but it is up to us to create the future by listening to the mistakes we've made. Nothing in life is certain, there is a chance for things to go horribly wrong or impossibly right. Time is our greatest ally and our worst enemy. Things can last for a long time and they can leave you wanting more if they are short.

As of right now this is all I can think of, my previous post that I did like this explains the events of my time on newgrounds better then this post. This one is rather what has happened recently and how I perceived them.

If you would like to know more leave a comment and I'll reply and or edit the news post for everyone to read.

Thanks for reading,
Mrmilkcarton
Nick Tomassetti